i don't like sucking hair
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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