Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
