you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
