i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
