you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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