i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dear god my vagina.
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