There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
