perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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