just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
