omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
