is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
