i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
