Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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