just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
