True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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