He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
