she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The power of my boobs compel you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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