I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
