he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
