it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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