Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
