apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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