i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
