I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
