I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
