hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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