Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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