im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
