Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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