i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
