and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
