I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
