yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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