Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We left an ass print on the piano.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
