Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We got so high we made milksteak
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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