yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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