Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
ttyl tear gas
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
