Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
