he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
God, I missed his penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
