six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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