i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
