i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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