i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
