i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
