you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
