im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
