remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
organizing the empties. That sober.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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