The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
