It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
