Swine flu. Run for my life!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize