well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
