Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
