PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
