haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
