my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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