I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need water and some morals
Randomize
