My first STD was from a foam party
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
