i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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