Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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