I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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